C.W. Briggs (The Curse of the Jade Scorpion)

Created by Woody Allen

“You’re a nerdy little meglamaniac who’s frightened by women.”
— Fritz puts the Woodster in his place.Woody Allen wrote,  directed and starred in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion, a banter-heavy crime farce/romantic comedy set in 1940’s Manhattan (where else?), that revolves around hypnotism, a jewel heist and Allen himself as C.W. BRIGGS, an old-fashioned insurance dick who gets by on “hunches” and “gut feelings,” and loudly proclaims himself a ladies’ man.

How old-fashioned is C.W.?

He wears a fedora and a trench coat.

Enter Helen (Mad About You) Hunt playing Betty Ann “Fritz” Fitzgerald, an uptight, take-charge efficiency expert hired by the boss, Dan Ackroyd (whom she’s sleeping with) to modernize the office. Needless to say, Allen is flustered by Hunt’s aggressive style (and more than a tad smitten).

Meanwhile, an “evil hypnotist” (played by David Ogden Stiers, complete with turban) transforms the mismatched duo into jewel thieves. And sweethearts.

Boy, I hate when that happens.

Still, considering the cast, and Allen’s obvious affection for old movies and the detective genre (his stories about private eye Kaiser Lupowitz are a true delight), this is a great little flick. And it does have Hunt in it…

And, in fact, I really enjoyed it. The dialogue was some of Allen’s best in years, really rat-a-tat sharp. Just a pleasant surprise, since it got such so-so reviews. I liked it.

UNDER OATH

• “A sly, stylish period comedy from Woody…a real charmer…definitely the date movie of choice”
  — Peter Travers (Rolling Stone)
• “I re-watched this movie on DVD the other day. I’ve heard this movie described as mediocre Allen, but for me — a mystery fan who hasn’t seen much of Allen’s work — it was great fun, with some of the sharpest banter I’ve heard. I especially like C.W.’s attempts to explain away the evidence against him and his suspicion of Betty Ann, as he’s often caught red-handed:
  Fitzgerald: You’re searching my desk!
  Briggs: I wasn’t searching. I was rummaging.
  — Gerald So ( Crimeseen)

FILMS

• THE CURSE OF THE JADE SCORPION | Buy this DVD | Buy the Blu-Ray
  (2001, Dreamworks)
  Written and directed by Woody Allen
  Starring Woody Allen asd C.W. BRIGGS
  and Helen Hunt as Betty Ann “Fitz” Fitzgerald
  Also starring Charlize Theron, Dan Aykroyd, Elizabeth Berkley, Wallace Shawn, David Ogden Stiers

FURTHER INVESTIGATION

• Written, directed and starring…
  One-Man P.I. Shows
• You Better Get Some Insurance, Baby
  You’re in Good Hands With These Eyes… probably.

Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.