Butch Patterson

Created by Greg Lawrence "Do you think I'd look good in a hat?" How’d I miss this one? A 30-minute Canadian TV comedy lampooning the whole Shamus Game? That lasted three seasons? And I had no clue it even existed? Turns out Butch Patterson, Private Dick ran from 1999-2001 on The Comedy Network, a Canadian channel … Continue reading Butch Patterson

Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)

Created by Jake Kasdan "Now, a few words on looking for things. When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad. Because of all the things in the world, you're only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it … Continue reading Daryl Zero (Zero Effect)

Nick Danger

Created by The Firesign Theatre "Well, now, the gum's on the other shoe." -- Nick Danger, on a sudden plot shift, in The Case of the Missing Yolks .Even more than the literature, the classic radio eyes of the forties and fifties thrived on first person. And they did it in present tense, as in … Continue reading Nick Danger

Sam Valenti Jr. (The Ferret)

Created by Blake Edwards Pseudonyms include Sam O. Brown (1922-2010) In this comedy, Robert Loggia played legendary anti-terrorist UN Special Agent SAM “THE FERRET” VALENTI, whose disappearance sets off an global crime wave. It falls to his son SAM VALENTI JR. (Steve Guttenberg), a bumbling, accident-prone jazz musician and amateur inventor (and possibly a part-time private eye), operating under … Continue reading Sam Valenti Jr. (The Ferret)

Lester March (It’s Only Money)

Created by John Fenton Murray “Nay, hence, and get outta there.” — Lester speaks Somebody make it stop! While there have been any number of miscast or just surprising actors slotted to play private eyes, their performances careening wildly from inspired to simply head-scratching, surely one of the most painful to watch is uber-dweeb Jerry Lewis … Continue reading Lester March (It’s Only Money)

Mitch Weaver (Dirty Work)

Created by Norm MacDonald and Frank Sebastiano "Note to self...Learn how to fight." -- Mitch to his pocket recorder, after getting the crap kicked out of him in a bar fight This 1998 vehicle for Saturday Night Live refugee Norm MacDonald would have played out as a spoof of TV's Vengeance Unlimited, except that they were … Continue reading Mitch Weaver (Dirty Work)

Guy Johnson (It’s a Wonderful World)

Created by Herman J.  Mankiewicz "I never met a dame who wasn't a nitwit or a lumphead." -- Guy's take on women. When his boozing millionaire client, Willie Heyward, is framed for murder, money-grubbing New York city private eye GUY JOHNSON (played by Jimmy Stewart at his befuddled, doofus best) hides him away so he can catch … Continue reading Guy Johnson (It’s a Wonderful World)

Last Night I Shot a Private Eye in My Pajamas…

Groucho Marx, P.I.? Created by Mr. and Mrs. Marx Okay, I'll confess. I'm a big Marx Brothers fan. I remember stumbling into class Monday mornings in high school, all bleary eyed, for what seemed like an entire semester, because CBC-Montreal insisted on running Marx Brothers flicks on the late show every Sunday night. And to … Continue reading Last Night I Shot a Private Eye in My Pajamas…

Sam Grunion (Love Happy)

Created by Frank Tashlin, Mac Benoff, Ben Hecht (uncredited), Harpo Marx "I am the same Sam Grunion who solved the international uranium-mining swindle. Scotland Yard was baffled; the FBI was baffled. They sent for me and the case was solved immediately: I confessed." -- Sam Grunion In Love Happy (1949), the last film the Marx Brothers … Continue reading Sam Grunion (Love Happy)

Wolf J. Flywheel (The Big Store)

Created by Hal Fineberg, Ray Golden, Sid Kuller & Nat Perrin "We won't need any stores detectives with him around." -- Hah! Not your average gumshoe, but certainly one of the mouthiest, Groucho Marx stars as WOLF J. FLYWHEEL, possibly the most useless private eye in the world in the 1941 Marx Bros. comedy The … Continue reading Wolf J. Flywheel (The Big Store)