Created by Bob Montana and John L. Goldwater
We all know JUGHEAD JONES, right?
Archie Comics?
Archie’s pal?
From Riverdale?
Doesn’t like girls?
Loves food, particularly hamburgers?
Wears a crown-like beanie?
Sarcastic? Occasionally snarky? Laidback? Slightly off?
Been around since 1941 or so?
What I didn’t realize was that Jughead’s had a jones (sorry) for private eyes for decades. And over the years he’s dreamed about being one.
But the most compelling evidence was displayed in Pep Digital #51, a digital reprint collection of stories culled from the last few decades featuring Jughead (and other members of the gang) playing detective. Some of them happen “for real” and are set within the Archie continuity of the day, and others are pure, alternate-elseworlds fantasies, with a healthy dose of gentle parody sprinkled on top. Certainly nothing particularly hard-boiled (for that, you’d have to check out Archie Comics’ eye Sam Hill) but in every case, they’re sorta fun, in a goofy, nostalgic Archie Comics kinda way.
The centrepiece of the collection is “Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye,” a four-part story arc from 2010 which finds Jughead, inspired by all the detective movies he’s seen lately, hanging around the back of Pop’s Chok’lit Shoppe in a trenchcoat, living out the fantasy and actually taking on a few cases — the payment seemingly always coming in the way of food. It’s obvious the writer, Alex Simmons, knows a thing or two about genre — the titles alone are shout-outs to Chandler, John D. MacDonald and Hammett (twice).
Also included in the collection is “Crime Stopper” a tale from 1987 wherein Jughead fantasizes about being Slim Jim, ace detective for the Riverdale police, while “Crime Time,” essentially a one-page gag about Jughead going all CSI while investigating the theft of the last slice of pie.
The two-part “The Detective” (2007) finds Jughead making like his favourite TV gumshoe, Sam Spud, to investigate counterfeit “Gooby Bars.” His loyal companion, Hot Dog, helps him crack the case. It shares its rather generic title with another story in the collection, probasbly the weakest of the bunch, in which an oblivious Archie is the world’s greatest detective, Herlock Soames (complete with deerstalker cap) and Jughead takes on the role of his snarky righthand man “Lefty” Flotsam, as they investigate some foul play at the Lodge “manse.”
My favourite, though, is probably “Private Eye, Eye” from 1996, which finds Jughead attempting to write a hard-boiled detective novel featuring Charlie Eye. His manuscript is full of such over-boiled lines as “I melted like an ice cube on a hot stove,” “kissably pursed lips” and “I drank in her loveliness like a parched petunia.” Unfortunately, Reggie gets his hands on the transcript, and Jughead’s in for some serious ribbing.
Not that this collection rounded up all of Jughead’s forays into the shamus game. In “Peter Goon, Private Eye” from 1960, Jughead gets temporary amnesia and thinks he’s private eye Peter Goon, an obvious riff on TV’s Peter Gunn.
Nor were his jaunts into GumshoeLand limited to comics — the sixties cartoon show had an episode entitled “Private Eye Jughead.”
COMICS
JUGHEAD’S FANTASY
(October 1960, Archie Comics)
Written by Sy Rei
Art by Samm Schwartz, Marty Epp
Jughead gets temporary amnesia and thinks he is private eye Peter Goon; A parody on TV’s Peter Gunn.- PEP DIGITAL #51: JUGHEAD JONES: PRIVATE EYE
(August 2013, Archie Comics)
A collection of some of Jughead’s P.I. “adventures,” including:- “Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye Part One: The Thin-Malted Man”
(August 2010, Archie’s Pal Jughead #202)
Written by Alex Simmons
Art by Rex Lindsey, Jim Amash - “Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye Part Two: Well, Well, My Lovely”
(September 2010, Archie’s Pal Jughead #203)
Written by Alex Simmons
Art by Rex Lindsey, Jim Amash - “Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye Part Two: A Tan and Sandy Snooze”
(January 2011, Archie’s Pal Jughead #204)
Written by Alex Simmons
Art by Rex Lindsey, Jim Amash - “Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye Part Four: Shadow of the Pod Man, Man”
(March 2011, Archie’s Pal Jughead #205)
Written by Alex Simmons
Art by Rex Lindsey, Jim Amash - “Crime Stopper”
(1987, Jughead #22)
Art by Doug Crane, Rod Ollerenshaw - “Crime Time”
(April 2005, Archie’s Pal Jughead Comics#163)
Written by Mike Pellowski
Art by Pat Kennedy, Al Millgrom - “The Detective Part One and Two”
(December 2007, Jughead & Friends Digest #24)
Written by George Gladir
Art by Bill Yoshida, Barry Grossman - “Private Eye, Eye”
(February 1996, Archie’s Pal Jughead #77)
Written by Frank Doyle
Art by Stan Goldberg, Mike Esposito - “The Detective”
(February 1980, Archie Annual Digest #37 )
Written by Frank Doyle
Art by Stan Goldberg, Rudy Lapick
- “Jughead Jones: Semi-Private Eye Part One: The Thin-Malted Man”
- JUGHEAD’S DINER
(1990, Archie Comics)
TELEVISION
- THE ARCHIE SHOW
(1968-69)
30 minute episodes
Two stories per episode- “Private Eye Jughead” (June 28, 1968)
THE DICK OF THE DAY
- May 28, 2023
The Bottom Line: Turns out the burger-loving doofus (and Archie’s best bud) has had a jones (sorry) for being a private eye for years and years. Who knew?
Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.
