Created by Lou Breslow and David Chandler
“Oh Goldie, these are humans we’re dealing with. You can’t just tell them the truth and expect them to believe it.”
— Rex explains the inadequacies of humans.
Speaking of unfortunate viewing habits, how could you not include You Never Can Tell in the list of movies on your site? Don’t tell me you’ve missed this one!
King, a German Shepherd (an actual dog, not an occupation), is left a large inheritance by his master, an eccentric millionaire, but is soon poisoned. Suspicion falls on the man’s former secretary, who stands next in line to inherit the fortune.
King talks his way out of doggie heaven, and comes back to earth in human form, as a private detective named REX SHEPARD (played by Dick Powell, in one of his last film roles). Rex/King is out to unmask the real killer, and clear the secretary. He’s aided in his quest by Goldie, played by Joyce Holden, a woman who used to be race horse Golden Harvest. And forget the office bottle or firing up a Camel–Rex’s junk food of choice is dog kibble.
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!! In fact, I’ve tried for years to find this one on videotape, but so far no luck. However, every so often one of the cable movie channels shows it.
- “This movie-fantasy is dumb as a box of puppies, but I liked it anyway… Don’t come to You Never Can Tell expecting a lot of laughs, but if you’re looking for an off-beat thing with a certain charm, this is it.”
— Dan Stumpf (September 2017, Mystery*File)
- “Hey, whaddayaknow? Jan isn’t crazy, after all. This is a pretty fun flick. I just watched it the other night with the kids, and once Meg the Mighty got over the fact it was in black and white, we all enjoyed it. It was fun; no great laughfest, but a pleasant, quiet and even charming little film with some warm humour. Goldy’s a hoot, and Dick Powell’s always a treat to watch (he’s still my favourite Marlowe). Thanks, Jan. And you can now find it on DVD.”
— Kevin Burton Smith
- YOU NEVER CAN TELL | Buy the DVD
(aka “One Never Knows”; “You Never Know”)
Black and white
Screenplay by Lou Breslow and David Chandler
Based on a story by Lou Breslow
Directed by Lou Breslow
Produced by Leonard Goldstein
Starring Dick Powell as REX SHEPARD
Joyce Holden as Goldie
and Flame as King
Also starring Peggy Dow, Charles Drake, Albert Sharpe, Lou Polan, Frank Nelson, William Vedder, Frank Gerstle, Anthony George
- “Oh mama, I got dem cosmic anthropomorphic P.I. blues again…”
Going to the dogs, the cats and worse.