Jake Longly

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Created by D.P. Lyle

“Ray was of the opinion that running a bar and chasing bikinis was not a career. I disagreed.”
— Deep Six

Presenting… the Doofus Detective.

I dunno. At first glance, there’s so much about JAKE LONGLY that seems, well, calculated. As though the author was working his way down a checklist of 1980s television P.I. tropes or something.

Generic P.I. first name? Check.

Suggestive macho family name? Check.

Cool P.I. car? How about a classic 1965 Mustang? Check.

Hangs out at a cool bar? How about Captain Rocky’s Surf and Turf on the beach in Gulf Shores, Alabama?

Which he also owns? Double check.

Colourful macho past? How about  a major-league pitcher for the Texas Rangers? Check.

Annoying (but still sexy) ex-wife? That would be Tammy. Check.

Hot-and-randy steady? That would be his girlfriend Nicole, a woman whom no man can apparently resist. Including Jake.

And yet… there’s is a twist. The always affable Jake’s not really a P.I. — his dad, Ray Longly, is. And both metaphorically and literally, Jake lets others do the driving.

Ray himself is a piece of work, pushing sixty and still aggressively fit, a hard ass with a long and sometimes classified career for the CIA, Special Forces, FBI  and Lord knows who else behind him He’s one abrasive, demanding, hard-as-nails son of a bitch, who seems to live on conflict and Mountain Dew, and doesn’t seem to mind pissing off anyone–even the local police.

“Screw ’em,” he says, “If they did a better job, I wouldn’t be needed.”

Ray seems  to have brought the same charming attitude to raising his son, which may be why Jake is so reluctant to get involved in Ray’s life, and prefers to chill at Captain Rocky’s, checking out the babes, like a frat boy on vacation, cashing in on his status as a former professional athlete, and letting others run the place. Ray and Jake’s relationship isn’t so much Jim and Rocky, as Magnum and Higgins.

And yet, somehow, Jake always seems to get drawn into Ray’s work, for one reason or another.

Not that he does much.

In truth, Jake’s main job here is to complain about it, and watch everyone else—his dad, Nicole and his best friend, Pancake, who just happens to work for Ray—do the heavy lifting. He observes—they fight, they detect, they drive. Like Chance in Being There, he likes to watch. Jake’s essentially a guest star in his own books.

Which may be the whole point. Not the action or the sex, per se, but the slacker charm of Jake’s lifestyle and the follow-the-bouncing-ball pacing, as the books move along from scene to scene, with the POVs wandering in and out of Jake’s woozy, first person narration (Have they considered Tom Selleck for the audiobooks?). The mysteries aren’t terribly complex, the villains are suitably evil, if slightly predictable (Ooh! A serial killer! A drug cartel! Human traffickers from South America!), the wisecracks affable enough and the writing breezy enough to keep the pages turning and the plots simmering on a low boil.

Be a Jake. Just sit back and enjoy it.

There are worse crimes.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The author is an award-winning, best-selling author of both fiction and non-fiction, and regularly receives blurbs from some pretty big guns in the genre. A forensics expert, he’s served as a consultant to numerous fellow novelists and screenwriters of popular TV shows, and runs ITW’s Online Thriller School. He also co-hosted (with Jan Burke)  Crime and Science Radio, and currently hosts the Criminal Mischief podcast series. His books include Forensics for Dummies, the Samantha Cody series (ex-deputy and boxer), the Dub Walker series (forensic criminologist), and the Bobby Cain and Harper McCoy series (private eyes), as well as the Royal Pains TV tie-in series. He lives in Orange County, California.

UNDER OATH

  • “If you like action books with former pro athletes, former Special Forces guys, evil crooks right out of Central Casting, and bikini-clad women, you’ll like this one. Don’t expect to think much. It’s entertaining fantasy, but not much more.”
    — Hoyt Clagwell on Deep Six (Amazon)

NOVELS

FURTHER INVESTIGATION

  • DP Lyle
    The official site of the award-winning author, lecturer and story consultant.

THE DICK OF THE DAY

  • August 15, 2023
    The Bottom Line: Presenting the doofus as detective. Ex-MLB pitcher Jake would rather chill at his Alabama bar or commingling with his hot girlfriend, Nicole, but somehow he keeps getting roped into his P.I. dad’s cases.
Respectfully submitted by Kevin Burton Smith.

Published

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