Everything I Know About the Job, I Learned From P.I. Novels
Okay, I just started this one. I’m looking for words of wisdom, truisms, and the like, garnered from P.I. novels.
WORD ON THE STREET
- “Prostitues and junkies were the best informants on the street. Waitresses, bartenders, UPS drivers, and laborers were pretty good, too. They cost a little more, but whatever the cost…most people, the ones who knew the value of a dollar, had a price.”
— Right As Rain by George Pelecanos
ON STAKEOUTS
- “And what I tell you about drinking coffee? What you need to be doing, you keep a bottle of water in the car and you sip it, a little at a time, when you get good and thirsty. Coffee runs right through you, man, you know that. What’s gonna happen when you got to pee so bad you can’t stand it, you get out the car lookin’ for some privacy, tryin’ to find a tree to get behind, while the subject of your tail is sneaking out the
back door of his house? Huh? What you gonna do then?”
— Derek Strange lectures an associate in Right As Rain by George Pelecanos
ON THE PESKY PROBLEM OF MURDERED PARTNERS
- “When a man’s partner is killed he’s supposed to do something about it. It doesn’t matter what you thought of him. He was your partner and you’re supposed to do something about it.”
—Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett
ON GUNS
- “A dum-dum .30-30 can do a lot of damage. In like a pea, out like a plate.”
— Bart Challis in Death Is For Losers by William F. Nolan
ON THE FUTURE OF THE PROFESSION
- “There’s nothing left of this profession, Frank, it’s all over.”
— Al Hickey in 1972 film Hickey & Boggs, directed by Robert Culp
ON WHAT IT ALL MEANS
- “What is a private detective but a philosopher in a trench coat?”
— Leonard Chang in “Why I Love Crime Fiction.”
FURTHER INVESTIGATION
- When You’re Quoted, You’ll Take It and Like It!
Private Dicks Say the Darnedest Things…
Preliminary list compiled by Kevin Burton Smith. Any suggestions or additions are welcome.
