Nick Bali (Killer Heat)

Created by Jo Nesbø
Screenplay by  Matt Charman and Roberto Bentivegna

“Sometimes you use a carrot. Sometimes you use a stick. Sometimes you just lie your ass off.”

Sorry, but the 2024 Amazon Original Killer Heat is about as generic as its title.

Even more disappointing? Its lead is Joseph Gordon-Levitt, an actor whose Shamus Game bonafides have been impressive (see Brick; see Glass Onion; see Poker Face), and that the film was based on “The Jealousy Man,” a short story by Jo Nesbø, one of the more highly regarded crime writers around right now.

Gordon-Levitt shows up in this one as American ex-pat NICK BALI, a transplanted New Yorker and former NYPD detective, working as a private investigator in Athens, Greece, fleeing a broken marriage and a troubled past.

I’d say Gordon-Levitt phoned this in, but so did almost everyone else involved.

He’s hired on the down low by Penelope Vardakis, who flies him out to the island of Crete, and promptly hides him out in a monastery. She doesn’t trust the local police to properly investigate the recent rock climbing death of her husband Elias Vardakis’ twin brother Leo. Seems the super-wealthy Vardakisis clan practically own the island—they made their fortune in shipping, and any scandal would embarrass the family, and possibly damage the company’s stock. So the police have quickly ruled Leo’s death an unfortunate accident.

But Penelope isn’t convinced. Neither is local police officer Georges Mensah, who was in charge of the original “investigation.” And neither is Nick, almost immediately.

And so it begins.

Mensah (initially hostile to Nick’s poking around) soon joins forces with the private eye. There’s some more bumbling poking around, a few painfully obvious clues, some cringe-worty dialogue, a lot of gorgeous sun-dappled scenery, a smattering of local color, Nick drinks too much, a little action, a by-the-numbers shootout and some flashbacks to give Nick flesh some noirish depth beyond a few bursts of voice-over narration, but the whole thing is pretty predictable for anyone who’s ever dipped a toe in the mystery pool.

Notice I said “twin” brother?

Elias and Leo were twins. Identical twins.  And I mean really identical—they’re monozygotic twins, a word Elias casually drops into a conversation with Nick.

Yeah, I had to look it up, too. But I’d figured it out way before then.

So… figure it out.

The cast is solid and good looking, but ill-used, but there’s no real juice here. No drama, no surprise. It’s a pretty postcard with a generic “Wish you were here” message dutifully hand-printed on the back.