Created by Fred Olen Ray
(1954–)
and B.J. Nestles
Pseudonym of Terrill Lee Lankford
“I’d stumbled into the middle of an evil, insidious cult of chainsaw worshipping maniacs. I had to wonder if we’d let our religious freedom go too far in this country, or maybe our immigration laws were just too lax.”
— Jack Chandler
A wildly hysterical T&A horror comedy from cult exploitation director Fred Olen Ray, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is one of those rare ultra-low-budget sexploitation flicks that actually deserves its status as a camp classic. It’s full of beautiful naked girls (GASP!), deliberately lame dialogue, and cartoonish gore. Basically, if you like the title, you’ll probably dig the movie.
A down-and-out L.A. private eye with the remarkably clever and original sobriquet of JACK CHANDLER (well-played in a tongue-in-cheek manner by Jay Richardson), is hired to find a missing young woman (eighties Scream Queen Quigley). His search leads him to the titular streetwalkers (“They charge an arm and a leg!”), members of (and I kid you not) an ancient Egyptian chainsaw-worshipping cult. (The high-priest of the cult is played by Gunnar Hansen, who played “Leatherface” in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre!)
Highlights of this one-time late night cable staple include delightfully bad P.I. voice-overs (“The kid talked like a frosted flake, but she had the nicest set of knockers I’d seen in a long time.”), a buxom hooker who lovingly covers her treasured Elvis poster in plastic sheeting before taking a chainsaw to her unsuspecting john, topless fire-eating (!), and the climactic “ritual virgin dance of the double chainsaws.”
It’s not a good movie, but it’s a great bad one.
ABOUT THOSE RESPONSIBLE
Fred Olen Ray is an American professional wrestler, as well as an indie film producer, director and screenwriter of more than 200 low-low-budget, pulp-drenched films in many genres, including horror, science fiction, action/adventure, erotic thrillers, crime dramas, and holiday films, although he has worked on a few occasions for major Hollywood studios. An inspiration to many a fellow indie filmmaker, he lent a 16mm camera to Quentin Tarantino for one of his earliest attempts at filmmaking. Some of his alternative classics include The Brain Leeches (1978), The Tomb (1986), Deep Space (1987), Beverly Hills Vamp (1988), Bad Girls from Mars (1991), Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995), and of course Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers.
B.J. Nestles was actually our pal Terrill Lee Lankford, an indie film and television producer, writer and director, as well as the author of the kick ass crime fiction novels Earthquake Weather, Shooters, and Angry Moon. A frequent collaborator with Fred Olen Ray, he has also produced several promotional films for Michael Connelly, as well as contributing to the Bosch television series, and producing the documentary Blue Neon Night: Michael Connelly’s Los Angeles.
DISCLAIMER
- “The chainsaws used in this motion picture are real and dangerous! They are handled here by seasoned professionals. The makers of this motion picture advise strongly against anyone attempting to perform these stunts at home. Especially if you are naked and about to engage in strenuous sex.”
FILMS
- HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS | Buy this DVD | Buy this Blu-Ray
(1988, Ventura)
Written by Fred Olen Ray and B.J. Nestles
Directed By Fred Olen Ray
Starring Jay Richardson as JACK CHANDLER
Also starring Gunnar Hansen, Linnea Quigley, Dawn Wildsmith, Michelle Bauer
Respectfully submitted by Chris Mills, who gets extra bonus points for using the word ‘titular’ in the same paragraph as “streetwalkers,” “knockers” and “virgins” without smirking… well, much.
